HOW BAD IS GLENN DORSEY ?
Glenn Dorsey visited the Virgin Islands , now they're just called "The Islands."
Glenn Dorsey grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.
Dorsey invented giraffes by uppercutting horses.
There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Glenn Dorsey lives in Baton Rouge .
Glenn Dorsey's poo smells like Armani Aqua de Gio.
When GD is around, jet planes do not need fuel. Dorsey simply picks them up with his index finger and throws them to their destination.
Glenn Dorsey's tears cure cancer. Unfortunately it is impossible to make him cry.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Glenn Dorsey has allowed to live.
When Glenn Dorsey speaks, everybody listens.
And then dies...
If you spell "Glenn Dorsey" in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
Glenn Dorsey completes a sudoku puzzle in each huddle.
Every time Glenn Dorsey makes a quarterback cry, an angel gets its wings.
Glenn Dorsey's Helment wears Glenn Dorsey for protection!!!
Glenn Dorsey sees dead people...and kills them again.
Chuck Norris played @$$ kickers in movies and TV shows before challenging Glenn Dorsey. Now he's only capable of making bad infomercials.
The popular videogame "Doom" is based loosely around the time Satan borrowed two bucks from Dorsey and forgot to pay him back.
If you were to lock Dorsey in a room with a guitar, a year later you would have the greatest album ever, it would sweep the Grammy's. When asked why he doesn't do this Dorsey replied "Because Grammy's are for queers." Then he ate a knife to show the seriousness of his response.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Dorsey once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.
Saban won with Glenn Dorsey's players.
Dorsey once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress
When taking the SAT, write "Dorsey" for every answer. You will score a 1600.
Katrina didn't hurt New Orleans....Glenn Dorsey farted..........
Out of the world's ten "badest bad asses", Glenn Dorsey receives Christmas presents from nine of them.
Dorsey once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles?" contest. Dorsey won by 5.
The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Dorsey has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
Four words you will never hear Glenn Dorsey say: "Don't taser me, bro.".
Glenn Dorsey CAN believe it's not butter!
If you Google search "Dorsey getting his butt kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.
Glenn Dorsey was Luke's father
When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Glenn Dorsey.
Tebow had to ask Glenn Dorsey permission to kiss his Boyfriend.
Glenn Dorsey wrote an amazing book called "A Brief History of Time" but Stephen Hawking stole the rough draft and sold 9 million copies of it with his name on it... Yeah... We all saw what happened to him.
Gator fans. Do you realize how badass Glen Dorsey is???
Now that right thur is some funnyshit. I know Glen pretty good and he is about the baddest mofo I have ever seen. A bunch of them boys used to come over to mama house and she would cook a great big ole dinner. That man can eat more food than anybody I ever seen. LSU is gonna beat the hell out them boys on Saturday.
Reply:yeah, he is pretty bad ***. Hopefully the Gators will have something for him. Though at night in Baton Rouge, it is unlikely
Reply:Oh boy. Someone has been hitting the juice.
Reply:All you did is steal Tebow facts, which are in themselves stolen from Chuck Norris facts.
Gators will smash you this Saturday!
Reply:Glenn Dorsey is a beast! When those tigers roar at home this weekend, Tebow will cry and Urban MEyer's 23rd century light show offense(QB draws and dump passes) will be reduced to rubble. Player of the game...Jacob HEster! LOve those Tigers!
Reply:Last time i check it took alot more than one bad *** player to win a game.. Hell i hate fl but give me a brake
Reply:I can't readily affirm that all those thing you said about Glen Dorsey are true but he will have Tim Tebow believing them.
Reply:He is bad. And i think in Baton Rouge on Sat. night he and all the other tigers is going to have some gator for dinner.
LSU 38 Florida 6.
Say good night Florida fans...
Reply:Yeah, I'm right here at LSU and can vouch for everything u say. Glenn Dorsey is a Unstoppable. I feel sorry for lil Timmy Tebow. He won't know what hit him.
Geaux Tigers
Reply:Stop stealing Chuck Norris facts!
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door...GD can't.
Reply:Tebow is spooning with his boyfriend and softly crying on his shoulder as I write this.... He woke up screaming three times in the middle of the night last night after having nightmares of GD breaking him in two... LSU dominates the gators and the AP ranks them as number's 1-5 with USC in sixth. Geaux Tigers.
Reply:Glenn Dorsey for Heismann!!
no forget that... Dorsey for President
no no no wait.... Glenn Dorsey for Emporer of the Universe
Oh, I forgot... He already is.
Geaux Tigers!!!!
LSU 28 Florida 6
Reply:Dorsey is so bad that Tebow will be wearing 2 Depends and meyer will have a changer and mop-up crew on the sidelines !
Reply:A SISSY BOY! LS? IS GOING DOWN..
Reply:I got my money on LSU
Reply:somebody had too much time on their hands
this is funny even thought they are all chuck norris jokes
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